You Old Dick

the birthday dick

£10.00 EXC. POSTAGE (GB only)


Getting old is so dull. Every year it’s the same old; card, naff present and a few text messages from everyone that forgot the special day. But not this year. Make their birthday something to crow about with a limited edition, two-tone, cardboard ‘You Old Dick’ cock-a-doodle-do. Sent with love from our high-tech distribution centre in Worcester. Probably the best birthday gift in the world, apart from maybe a new car.

  • “After three glorious years, my team at work bought me a ‘So Schlong Dick’. It now sits pride of place in my trophy cabinet.”

    - The Chelsea Badger

    The Chelsea Badger
  • “Was sent this by my brother; the dog thought it was a large Bonio, which wasn’t far from the truth.”

    - Toby from Cheltenham

    Toby from Cheltenham
  • “The finest anniversary present my wife has ever bought me – thanks Mrs D.”

    - Adam from Malvern

    Adam from Malvern
  • “I was Ship A Dicks’ first ever customer and I couldn’t be happier with my massive wanger.”

    - Guy from Derby

    Guy from Derby

Dick with benefits

  • 48-hour delivery
  • £1 charitable donation
  • 100% recyclable
  • Guaranteed LOLs
  • Can be used as a nappy changing tray
  • Stop reading – it’s just a cardboard dick

Dicks that do good

As well as bring a smile to the world, our mission is to become one of the UK’s Top five donors to prostate cancer by 2030. For every dick sent, we donate £1 to prostate cancer research and over time that adds up to a lot of dough for a great cause that affects a lot of men in the UK. Some serious dick stuff below.

Why Prostate Cancer Is Important


Half-a-million men are living with prostate cancer in the UK.


1-in-8 men will get prostate cancer in their lifetime.


Prostate cancer causes more than 12,000 deaths each year in the UK.


Ship A Dick £1

And that’s why, for every dick sent, we give £1 to prostate cancer research.

Maybe you need a different dick?

You’ve reached the end of the product page. At this point we just make stuff up and dick around because we need to add more words for Google to pay attention to our website.

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