Default Dick

the original dick

£9.50 EXC. POSTAGE (GB only)


There’s no such thing, especially when it’s delivered to you by the postman. But yes, this is your average male dick, just not your average mail. For this is the original master-piece. The no frills, but still thrills, penis is the post. Because some things don’t need dressing up. Best left untouched (this does not apply to real ones). Perfect as they are. A simple, wholesome, cardboard pecker for when you’re feeling a bit pecker peckish.

  • “After three glorious years, my team at work bought me a ‘So Schlong Dick’. It now sits pride of place in my trophy cabinet.”

    - The Chelsea Badger

    The Chelsea Badger
  • “Was sent this by my brother; the dog thought it was a large Bonio, which wasn’t far from the truth.”

    - Toby from Cheltenham

    Toby from Cheltenham
  • “The finest anniversary present my wife has ever bought me – thanks Mrs D.”

    - Adam from Malvern

    Adam from Malvern
  • “I was Ship A Dicks’ first ever customer and I couldn’t be happier with my massive wanger.”

    - Guy from Derby

    Guy from Derby

Dick with benefits

  • 48-hour delivery
  • £1 charitable donation
  • 100% recyclable
  • Guaranteed LOLs
  • Can be used as a nappy changing tray
  • Stop reading – it’s just a cardboard dick

Dicks that do good

As well as bring a smile to the world, our mission is to become one of the UK’s Top five donors to prostate cancer by 2030. For every dick sent, we donate £1 to prostate cancer research and over time that adds up to a lot of dough for a great cause that affects a lot of men in the UK. Some serious dick stuff below.

Why Prostate Cancer Is Important


Half-a-million men are living with prostate cancer in the UK.


1-in-8 men will get prostate cancer in their lifetime.


Prostate cancer causes more than 12,000 deaths each year in the UK.


Ship A Dick £1

And that’s why, for every dick sent, we give £1 to prostate cancer research.

Maybe you need a different dick?

You’ve reached the end of the product page. At this point we just make stuff up and dick around because we need to add more words for Google to pay attention to our website.

Customers Also Bought

  • Clever Dick

    promotions, graduations etc.

    48 Hour Delivery Clever Dick

    This is the dick for promotions, new jobs, exam results, winning a pub quiz or getting highest score on Mario Kart.
    Read More

  • 1 Dick 4 Life

    for stags and hens

    48 Hour Delivery 1 Dick 4 Life

    Someone has just popped the question, excluding all the other dicks in the world. This is the commitment dick.
    Read More

  • So Schlong

    a farewell dick

    48 Hour Delivery So Schlong

    Some dicks just love to roam, to see the world and taste the exotic. Send them off with a big dick.
    Read More

  • Yay! It Works

    a dick for new baby celebrations

    48 Hour Delivery Yay! It Works

    Before they hear the pitter patter of tiny feet, let them say, ‘Oh my God, I’ve been sent a giant dick!’
    Read More

  • You Old Dick

    the birthday dick

    48 Hour Delivery You Old Dick

    Getting old is so dull. Every year it’s the same card, naff gifts and a few WhatsApps… but not this year!
    Read More